(702): It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me…
(775): yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing… like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

(970): I got my little bro high for the first time… Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.

(807): It’s like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.