janglingargot:

(+44): It is scary how often “just flash him” is your advice.

(615): If I started a story with “That three-year-old totally deserved it,” would you listen?

(517): This baby is an asshole

(719): I’m stealing this baby.

(1-719): Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?

(310): It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.

(415): That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.

(480): I think this baby is eyeing my beer

(915): I told you I was good to drive

(1-915): dumbass I drove… you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

(submitted by sakuraocean)

(918): I’m just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

(336): Did it work?

(918): It only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

(submitted by korrawr)

Is this mean? oh well.