(843): It’s going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I’ll meet them and think “Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?”
(937): Oh, honey. If you’re seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she’s doing the same thing. We’re not stupid, we’re just craftier than you.
(307): I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn’t want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
(603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It’s all relative.
(970): I got my little bro high for the first time… Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
